it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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