i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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