Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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