Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
