Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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