Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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