She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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