Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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