He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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