Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize