I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
it was like eating out sand paper
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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