We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
