I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
where does the pee come out of this thing
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
