he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
