I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
