Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
