i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
