Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
