Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize