Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
