I think i peed on brittanys purse
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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