his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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