it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
