i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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