What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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