I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
