Duck Duck Cougar?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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