real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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