I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize