saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
