that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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