matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
