the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
They have beer where we have blood.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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