Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
