dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Randomize
