I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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