the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize