i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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