erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
