so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My ass is underappreciated
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
