Don't you send me to vm
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
