We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
