i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
