it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
