Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
