About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize