oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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