Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
