it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
