I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
