I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We have so much sex to catch up on
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
