I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
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