YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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