were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
