I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
