Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
