i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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