Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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