I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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