She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she looked like the before picture.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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