if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
im six kinds of drunk right now
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
