oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize