good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
