my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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