Where are you?
In a non slutty way
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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