Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
